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big happy family my arse

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It is spring, all the first green and new flowers and soft blue sky get me into a mood for wanting something more yet knowing it is what it is. This makes me miss my stupidly young years, back then I still believed... in big happy family kinda thing. So as to cheer myself up, I went to look for something sweet and fluffy to read, and/or something hard but stubborn and funny, like this story, where Dean is a detective partnered with Henriksen, and Sam is a rich kid who got educated to his hearts content. The author wrote them authentic, Dean with the right amount of heart and self-loath, and trying so hard to be a good man; Sam is just so Sam, in control and not backing down from a challenge. Sam also talks like he is slightly over educated, in a completely endearing way.

Then I found this alternate universe story where Sam did not go with Dean the night he showed up in his apartment, and became a FBI profiler/field agent. It is a great story, Sam was a competent FBI agent, liked and respected by his co-workers, and he got a life he enjoyed, with some scars, but what adult doesn't come with some scars, even if they are just from papercuts. By the second chapter, he was interviewing Ronald and I got a very bad feeling about it; so I skipped to the last chapter, last line, where, of course, he reunited with Dean but lost everything else, and became a fugitive, from the law. And I just got hit by the colossal unfairness of it all. Why is it that he is expected to yield to John and Dean's way of life? Why is he not expected to make a life for himself? That is what normal parents wish and hope for their kids, easier and better life than theirs. Of course John's normalcy is questionable, but why cannot the brothers go their separate ways and remain brothers, like normal siblings do? Oh, right, Dean is not quite normal either. Guess I will go back and finish the story one of those days, when I am feeling more charitable toward Dean. Right of now, I am really going for something that won't make me feel like I shall just open the window and walk out of it.
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