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Fic: Remembering Jessica Moore

Title: Remembering Jessica Moore

Author's Note: I don't know where this came from. It is just here.

He'd always figured that he'd remember the good stuff the most. Hallmark moments, like lazy Saturday afternoons, rainy days, golden sunsets, stuff made into previews of romantic movies. Turned out he figured wrong. He knew he had those moments, but they were faded and felt unreal. Looking back over all these years, he might as well had seen them on TV or in a movie rather than lived them. It was all these other things stuck to him when he thought about Jessica, his Jess.

He remembered this one summer afternoon, he was sitting on the stair and Jess was standing, 'so as to gain some height advantage' Jess had said laughingly. They were talking about school stuff, Jess cocked her head and petted his head in mock sympathy, the tip of her long hair just brushed over his cheek. He was amazed and oddly touched by how soft it felt against his skin. He forgot about the topic of the day pretty much the same night, but he'd remember the feeling of that afternoon, young and carefree, the summer breeze, and softness of his girlfriend's hair, always.

And all these fights. They had more fights than he could count when they first moved in together. All about stupid little things, like the toilet seat cover, tooth pastes and what's for dinner. Strangely enough, he was the neater one of the pair, and their first big fight was after he spend an afternoon straightening out their kitchen. All their pots and pans and bowls and plates were neatly stacked and put away, and Jess was furious upon coming home to a spotless kitchen. Neat freak was yelled at one point, which got him losing it and started to yell back. Jess was startled, because he had always been the sweet sensitive guy who apologize just on this side of too fast, up to that point; but she was fearless when she was angry. She did not shed tears, she burnt them and fueled her fury. They made up in the end, of course; he forgot how, but he learned to stay out of the kitchen, her domain, unless it was burning down. That and Jess was beautiful when she smiled, and glorious when fighting.

He remembered their second and last Thanksgiving together. Jess refused point-blank to do a turkey, he was confused and said it was Thanksgiving, and people do turkey on Thanksgivings. Jess rolled her eyes, fondly, asked him if he knew her calculus TA? He did not get the point. She said that guy took a bus to Vegas, had a slice of turkey and stuffing at a buffet, bet a good part of his annual salary away and called it a good Thanksgiving. Then she told him to close his mouth so as to keep some poor bugs out. He stammered but but he was Chinese; Jess had laughed and said Exactly, that was like 1 billion people who never had turkey on Thanksgiving, in fact, 1 billion people who never had Thanksgiving. He then said What about last year? we did turkey last year. A true smile suddenly broke over her face, she gave him a side-way glance, half sly half shy, and said Last year? Last year I was trying to impress you. She then kissed him and said it was not like there wouldn't be Thanksgiving next year, the birds weren't going anywhere. He was happy to the point that his knees gave a little, so he only grasped the significance of this conversation much much later.

He had studied normal for so long and so hard that he could write a protocol on being normal, however, he had failed to understand normal came in all shades possible. Everything under the sun could be normal, except him, maybe. Maybe he was one variety of normal. He had stopped trying to figure it out. He had forgotten at what point being normal no longer mattered.

So, looking back over all these years, he mourned all those Thanksgivings that did not come and the two years that he had been happy, and normal. And he remembered Jess, beautiful beyond words, in her fiery glory.
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borgmama1of5 April 19th, 2010
Oh, this is so poignant and beautiful!

fourtenpm April 19th, 2010
oh thanks.

phorenice April 19th, 2010
Aw, I like this! The last paragraph was a killer.

fourtenpm April 19th, 2010
thank you!

dime_for_12 April 19th, 2010
So bittersweet. I absolutely loved "And he remembered Jess, beautiful beyond words, in her fiery glory."

This is the kind of fic where, when the end comes, it kind of hurts to breathe

Lovely.

fourtenpm April 19th, 2010
really really? I was thinking this piece doesn't really hurt, that much, at all.

dime_for_12 April 19th, 2010
I don't mean it's hurty, really, just poignant, and that can - and does more often, too - stop my breath more than out and out angst does

fourtenpm April 19th, 2010
aw, u say the sweetest thing!

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